


Star Wars Collection

by TheCookieOfDoom



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 20:34:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14701734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCookieOfDoom/pseuds/TheCookieOfDoom
Summary: A collection of all the Star Wars; The Force Awakens one-shots I wrote while still in the fandom.





	1. Spectre

Hux thrashed around in bed, body tensed, in the throes of a nightmare. A memory, really, of his time in the Academy. That hadn’t been a good time, but one particular memory was worse than the others. Not because it only happened once-it had been an almost weekly occurrence-but because it had been the first time. He’d been made to feel so weak, so helpless. So hopeless, resigned to his fate.

The dull sound of a fist hitting his stomach echoed in Hux’s mind, accompanied by the sound of tearing fabric and a sudden scream-his, he realized, when he felt how raw his throat was becoming-and the sound of flesh hitting flesh. He looked up through his blood-damp hair, vision blurred by crystalline tears. His vibrant irises were only emphasized by the redness of his eyes and cheeks. Blood mixed with sweat, running down his jaw and temple, down his chest, down his arched spine. Despite the situation, he refused to beg for mercy. It would do no good, the too tall, gangly, shy teenager wasn’t intimidating, especially as naked and battered and bloodied his pale body was as he was forced to his knees, face shoved into the ground.

He couldn’t threaten to tell his father either; they knew he wouldn’t. Couldn’t. “What are you gonna do? Go tell daddy? Do you think he will save you?” one of the boys, older than him, taunted. No, no Hux Sr. wouldn’t give a damn what was happening to his son. He would be angry, but not on behalf of Hux. He would be angry at him for being weak. For bringing shame to him and the Academy by not defending himself and beating this gang of boys into nothing.

What could I do, he thought to himself as fat tears finally rolled down his cheeks, stinging the cuts. There were 6 of them, all much older, much stronger, much more animalistic than him. He was beyond outnumbered; there was nothing he could have done. Nothing but lay there and take it as they took their pleasure on him, one by one, until he was left in a pool of cum and blood, curled up protectively and crying silently to himself.

Someone was grabbing his shoulder, shaking him violently as they sat at his side, yelling at him.

“Hux, Hux! Damnit General, wake up!”

Hux bolted up as the voice dragged him to consciousness, grabbing Kylo’s arm, nails digging sharply into his bicep. “Don’t touch me!” Kylo immediately jerked his hand back, raised welts left in his arm from Hux’s nails, accompanied by thin lines of blood.

Hux’s wide, dilated eyes darted around the room, scanning for threats. His chest, covered in a sheen of cold sweat, rose and fell rapidly and his heart raced. His sweat-damp hair was plastered to his forehead, and he brushed it back with a slightly shaking hand as he slowly returned to himself, eyes no longer looking as terrified and wild, and he seemed to finally recognize that it was Kylo, not one of the boys from his memories.

“What the fuck, Hux?” Kylo growled at him, still managing to be intimidating-no, terrifying-even as he wore nothing but a pair of loose pants, hair tied back in a messy knot. He was panting as well, though not as much as Hux, as if he had run there.

Hux leaned back on his elbows, looking up at the ceiling. He tried taking deep breaths to control his breathing and steady his still racing heart; he was unsuccessful, unable to calm down. “I… Sorry.”

Kylo simply glowered at him, not knowing what to say in response to Hux of all people apologizing to him. “What was that?” he settle for instead, voice seeming deeper and gravellier than normal.

“Nothing, just… Just a nightmare,” he said, more to himself than Ren. “Just a dream.” Ren’s gaze sharpened on Hux, and he grabbed the man’s chin roughly, making him look back at Kylo as he stared into those light eyes. “The hell it was.” Hux’s distress had called out to Ren though the Force, it was so strong. Strong enough to wake him up, heart racing with the fear and pain coursing through the general.

Normally, Kylo would feed of the general’s anguish. Tonight it was different. This wasn’t anger or humiliation or fear that he had caused. This was a cold terror that shook Hux to the marrow of his bones, holding him in it’s cruel grasp.

Kylo had immediately gotten out of bed, activated lightsaber brandished in one hand as he ran through the halls to Hux’s room, not bothering to stop long enough to punh in the override code. He’d slashed through the panel and run in, searching for Hux. Instead of being met with a physical threat, he’d seen Hux thrashing and shaking as if having his mind picked apart like the prisoners Kylo had tortured, crying out for it, them-who were they?-to stop.

Hux clenched his jaw as his head was jerked to face Kylo. “Don’t. Touch. Me,” he said through gritted teeth, lifting his hand to grab Kylo’s wrist, nails digging into his skin to draw pricks of blood. Kylo didn’t drop his hand, instead delving into Hux’s mind, causing the man to tense and try to resist. Hux cried out as his resistance only caused him more pain, but Kylo didn’t stop, not finding himself caring. He sifted through Hux’s memories; he had to know what had caused the non-force-sensitive man to manage to call out to him that way. Had to know what caused him such agony.

He found the memory, a small thread of a thought, and pulled it. He watched as Hux unraveled, forced to relive that memory with a clarity he hadn’t had in his unconsciousness. His eyes welled up again, though the tears didn’t fall this time, as he felt every punch, every kick, every bite, every thrust, into his broken body. He was held immobile by Kylo’s hardened gaze as the man stared into his eyes, seeing every second of Hux’s humiliation.

“Stop it, Ren,” he said, his voice having a hardened edge to it. Kylo didn’t so much as acknowledge Hux had spoken. He held Hux firmly, not permitting him to look away.

“Ren.” Hux pulled at Kylo’s hand, feeling a pressure build up in his chest. Ren tugged that thread a little harder, leading to more of Hux’s memories. The memories he kept locked away until they couldn’t hurt him. Not until he was deep in the realm of unconsciousness, unable to defend himself from his demons

A sob wracked Hux’s body as Ren saw his every humiliation, every time he had been weak. “Stop. Ren, stop this.” Finally, as fat tears ran down his cheeks just like all those years ago, Ren’s touch turned gentle. He brushed away the tears with his thumb before sliding his hand down to rest on Hux’s neck.

Kylo pulled Hux to him, cradling him to his chest as if he were made of glass, and Hux completely shattered. His arms stayed limp at his sides, and Kylo stayed silent while broken sobs wracked Hux’s too thin body. Kylo’s shifted his hands up to gently rub Hux’s temples, closing his eyes as he focused the Force for another purpose, attempting something he hadn’t ever tried.

Hux didn’t resist this time, there was no point. Kylo had already seen everything. Everything he kept hidden under lock and key, buried in the depths of his mind where they couldn’t hurt him anymore. He could feel Kylo’s soothingly cool hands rubbing at his head, and he sighed softly.

The sobs tearing through his body began to gradually calm down, and his breathing evened out as he felt all of the tension leaving him. Instead of the pain felt when Ren stole memories and thoughts out of his victims, a cool calmness was settling over Hux as Ren gently eased the pain the memories brought him, taking it from him.

Hux shivered against the cold invading his body, suddenly feeling so emotionally drained he fear he would pass out. “Damn you, Ren,” he said softly into the man’s chest. Kylo didn’t respond, intent on his work to relieve Hux of his demons. Once he was done, he put one hand on the back of Hux’s neck, the other on his chest as he gently lowered him to lay back on the bed.

Hux was asleep before his head hit the pillow. Ren got up and turned, picking up his lightsaber before leaving without a word or another look back at Hux.

A specter that faded away as quickly as he had appeared.


	2. Dead Men Walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major Character Death

“I’m so sorry, Hux.”

“We both knew this would happen eventually, Ren.”

Ren looking down at the shackles around their wrists, binding them to the chariot as it carried them to their death. Ren ached to touch Hux, just one last time. Feel Hux’s soft skin on his lips, or his hair on his fingertips. He could tell by the way Hux looked at him that the former general was having similar thoughts.

“It’s rather fitting, don’t you think?”

Ren’s eyes widened and he looked at Hux, shock and horror warring for a place on his features.

“Why in the Force would you think this is fitting?” Had Hux finally snapped? He had been eerily calm and excepting ever since they had been caught. Unnaturally so, even for him.

“This happened to your grandparents, didn’t it? Chained up in an arena to be executed, torn apart by vicious creatures. And now the same fate has befallen us. Though I doubt we will be able to escape like they did.”

Hux was right. He was weak. Beaten and exhausted from countless days or weeks spent at the hands of Resistance interrogators, along with Rey combing through Hux’s thoughts. She was far from gentle as she tore the information from Hux’s mind as he screamed. Stars, his screams. Ren could still hear them.

And there was Ren. He was as useless as he had always felt growing up. He had nothing, not even the Force, due to the ysalamir caged by his feet. If he could just get 10 meters away from the damned lizard, he could raze this place to the ground and leave, with Hux in his rightful place at Ren’s side.

But he couldn’t. He could only watch helplessly as they were led to their deaths, the light at the end of the tunnel a looming promise rather than a symbol of hope.

“Ren-“

“Kiss me.”

Hux leaned over as much as he was able to press his lips against Ren’s,  both savoring what would be their last kiss.

“I love you,” Ren whispered against his lips. “I love you so much. I’m so sorry for this, I’m so sorry.” He kept repeating that, fear finally wrapping it’s cold fingers around his heart as the sounds of the crowd became louder, before finally drowning out his voice. He felt like he hadn’t told Hux how much he loved him enough. How beautiful, how intelligent, how irreplaceable he was. They had wasted so much time fighting. Everything they argued about seemed so insignificant now. Why had they always fought?

He was pulled from his thoughts as Hux kissed him again, desperately. Ren kissed back hard, trying to tell Hux everything he never had, oblivious to the tears leaking down his cheeks. He squeezed his eyes shut as they were finally brought out into the arena. It felt like eternity, but it couldn’t have taken more than a minute.

The crowd was a thunderous roar, calling for their deaths. Screaming out all of the bloody, gruesome things they wanted to see them suffer through before their deaths.

Ren gripped his shackles to the point his knuckles were bloodless, standing out like stars in the galaxy against the durasteel. He tried his best to block out everything, focusing all of his attention on Hux’s lips against his- plush, as always, spit-slicked and split, but not bleeding. Not anymore. He focused on Hux’s scent- blood, mostly, and dirt. But there was a small trace of his pomade that he’d used for years, and the underlying scent that was Hux.

-

Hux watched as Ren tried to hide his panicking. He had accepted his fate long ago. Like he’d said, he knew it was likely that he would be put to death; he’d never feared it. There was nothing about death to fear. The Jedi believed one would be released back into the Force, some believed one would be reincarnated. Many believed there was nothing. Just an empty abyss, like the vacuum of space.

Hux hoped there was nothing. He could simply be, alone with himself, like the sole star in an empty galaxy, all to himself. He’d always been alone, and he always would be. But he didn’t want to be alone any more. He wanted to keep Ren at his side forever.

So, he looked at Ren, ignoring everything else as he tried to memorize the knight’s features. If he was going to be alone in death, then he would try to bring Ren’s image with him to keep him company in the empty void.

He leaned in to kiss Ren as was asked of him, closing his eyes. He should have spent more time doing this, kissing Ren until they couldn’t breathe, telling him how much he loved him. He should have given Ren more pleasant memories to replace all of the bad ones. And instead, he had spent so much of his time trying to tear him down.

“I love you too, Kylo Ren,” he whispered when he felt Ren’s tears against his cheeks. He wished he could have said something else. That it was going to be alright, that they would make it out of this, just like everything else. But Hux knew better than to bother. They wouldn’t be able to make it out of this one. Not this time.

He fought the urge to pull uselessly at his shackles even as Ren jerked at his until his wrists were raw, desperate to be free. “Focus on me, Ren. It’s just us,” he whispered, urgency creeping into his voice. “It’s just us,” he said again, and Ren nodded, giving Hux a bruising kiss.

Hux kissed back for all he was worth, until they were pulled apart by the guards dragging them to separate pillars.

“No!” Kylo screamed, reaching out for Hux before struggling against the guards, managing to snap one’s neck before he was subdued.

“Kylo!” Hux watched with wide eyes as Ren was tackled by no less than 6 guards, only after being shot with a blaster. Hux pulled at his chains, only two guards holding him back, trying to get to Ren. His heart seized as he saw Ren convulsing on the ground. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t fight. He would face his death with the dignity befitting of a general. But he broke that promise as he leapt at the nearest guard, teeth bared.

He looped his bound hands around the man’s throat, jerking him back as he strangled him with the binders. The other guard shot at him, but Hux used the guard he was holding as a shield, taking a sick pleasure in the way the man convulsed. Hux didn’t relent until the guard stilled. He dropped the body, and the remaining guard jerked at his chain. Instead of resisting, he let the guard pull him forward, before tearing into his jugular with nothing but his teeth.

Hux whipped around to see more guards running towards him, blasters drawn and set to kill. He didn’t care, he was a dead man anyway. He threw himself at the guards around Ren, shoving at them to get them off of his knight. He was picked up from behind, but he didn’t let that stop him, kicking out and thrashing in the man’s arms as two more guards came at him. He gripped the heavy chain, swinging it at anyone who came near enough. A well-aimed head-butt knocked out the guard behind him, and he was about to go for the others, before suddenly stopping.

He gasped, a strangled, high sound as he looked down at the gaping hole in his chest. His body finally caught up to the pain, and he fell to his knees with a cry, blood leaking from his lips to mix with that of the guards. Distantly, he heard an enraged scream, and Ren was crawling over to him, grabbing At Hux’s shirt as he pulled the ex-general close.

“No, no, Hux. Hux! Please, don’t leave me, not like this!” he shouted through his tears. Hux opened his mouth to reply, but all that came out was blood. Ren leaned down ever him, pressing their foreheads together as his tears dripped down onto Hux’s cheeks, washing away a little of the blood. The cheers of the crowd were even louder as they watched Ren’s heart break over his general.

“Run, you fool,” Hux croaked, face contorted in pain as he lifted his hand to grip Ren’s hair in his weak fingers. Ren just shook his head, hauling Hux up into his arms. “I’m not leaving you, not to them.” He buried his face against Hux’s neck, gritting his teeth as blaster shots rained down on his back like hellfire. He shielded Hux’s body as best he could, not wanting him to suffer even more.

He felt Hux’s slowing pulse against his lips, and he held onto Hux tighter, clinging to his thin body. He’d always seemed so big, so strong, but he was all but a slip of paper in Ren’s arms.

“I love you so much, Hux,” he whispered through gritted teeth. “I wish I had told you that more. You deserved so much more than me, than this. You deserved to rule the galaxy.”

Hux lifted his free hand and pressed it to Ren’s chest, fingers folded over his heart, index finger and thumb extended. I love you too. A sob wrenched itself from Ren’s throat as Hux’s pulse finally stopped, and his hand fell from Ren’s chest, one arm still hooked around his shoulders to leave his hand limp in his hair.

Ren exhaled as he allowed the darkness to take him.


	3. Shatter Me

Hux sighed softly, looking down at Ren, who’s head was in his lap as Hux ran his fingers through his hair.

“What?” Ren asked warily, having come to expect something terrible whenever Hux sighed like that.

“Why are we still doing this, Ren?” He used to get annoyed that Hux never used his first time, but over the course of their relationship, it had become more intimate than his first name.

“Because you like playing with my hair, and I like how it feels when your run your hand through it.”

Hux rolled his eyes, giving a soft tug to a lock of onyx strands. “That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

Ren did indeed know what Hux meant. He didn’t need the Force, didn’t need to read Hux’s mind or have a premonition, to know that he was questioning their relationship. Ren wanted to say it was because they loved each other, or at the very least lusted for each other, but he knew Hux wouldn’t except that. He needed something more than that.

“It’s mutually beneficial.” It was cold, impersonal, and the only thing Hux was likely to accept. But he didn’t, not this time. There was something else, something was really bothering him this time. Ren opened his much too expressive eyes, and they plainly showed concern for Hux as he reached up and brushed his knuckles against Hux’s cheek.

“What is it, Brell?” Hux caught Ren’s hand, lacing their fingers as he kissed his knuckles. He hated that nickname so much. He knew telling Ren his first name was a mistake the second he had come up with it. But right now, he loved the sound of it tumbling past Ren’s lips.

“It’s… Nothing. A needless concern.” Truthfully, he was afraid. Afraid of what they had, afraid of what they could have, afraid of losing it all. He didn’t want to lose Ren, not after he’d allowed himself to care for the insufferable man so deeply.

Ren could sense Hux’s turmoil. It was rolling off of him in waves that he was picking up through the Force, and he wished there was something he could do to put Hux’s mind at rest. Suddenly, he got an idea. He sat up and pulled Hux close, kissing him deeply.

Hux smiled against his lips softly as he kissed back, pulling away eventually to breath. “What are you doing, Ren?”

Ren caressed his cheek, before standing and swinging Hux up into his arms, easily carrying him despite his height. “You need reassurance, and I am going to give it to you.”

Hux laughed softly as he was set on the bed, before Ren was climbing over him, caging him in with his arms.  “Honestly, Ren, I really don’t.”

Ren simply clicked his tongue chidingly at Hux, tugging off his tank top before going for Hux’s, tossing both on the floor somewhere at the foot of the large bed. “Yes,” he murmured, leaning down Hux’s neck. “You,” another kiss, this time to the other side. “Do.” This time a kiss on the hollow of his throat.

“Oh all right. It appears you’re determined.” Hux sighed softly, stroking Ren’s hair gently as he gave him a barely-there smile; somehow more intimate then when he grinned, or smirked, or the rare bright smiles he sometimes showed.

Ren got to work trailing kisses down Hux’s chest, just barely brushing his lips over pale skin. He turned to kiss Hux’s palm once he made his way all the way down his torso, before gently gripping his wrist. He brushed his thumb over the raised skin, before kissing the long scarred since letters. Unbreakable.

Hux had been slightly delusional and more than a little hopeless when he’d carved that into his forearm when he was 15 with a dagger he had stolen. It was a silent promise to himself, etched in flesh and signed in blood.

It was a reminder that Hux was fractured. It was why he had been drawn to Ren; the knight had something he needed.

Ren had broken Hux apart so completely when they had fallen into bed together, and then Ren had meticulously put him back together after all of the screaming and crying and weakness, 15 years of it that had been built up and suddenly released.

That fracture was still there, still waiting to crack under the right pressure, but only Ren knew what that pressure was. And whenever he applied it, he always put Hux back together again, sometimes having to spend hours to pick up the pieces. But Hux needed it, and so did Ren.

Hux needed to lose control, needed to embrace the chaos tearing at him from the inside, and Ren needed to be in control. He was in control of how much he broke Hux apart, never enough to truly break his precious general, and in control when he put him back together, built him back up.

Outside of the bedroom, it was as if nothing had changed, and really, nothing had. Even though it felt like nothing was the same. Both of them had calmed their demons, at least somewhat, able to lock them away and let a peace settle over them that they had never known before each other.

Their relationship was indeed mutually beneficial, but it was so much more, so much deeper. They were tied to each other now in a way neither would have thought possible. It was beyond infatuation, beyond love, beyond even a force-bond that was said to stay with people through generations, ensuring that they found each other in every incarnation.

Ren released Hux’s arm to indeed smooth his hand up his sides, then his shoulders, then just a little higher to squeeze around his neck. And just like that, the tender atmosphere shattered. Ren dipped into Hux’s thoughts for reassurance, for permission, and received two simple syllables in response. Break me.

And Ren did. He shattered Hux, watching as he fell apart under his touch, both physical and from the Force combing through his mind. And when it wall over, when Hux lay panting and shivering under Ren, covered in a light sheen of sweat and eyes glazed over, Ren gathered him into his arms and held him delicately. He smoothed his hair down, ran his hand down his spine, crooned to him gently.

He pulled the blankets over their naked bodies, lulling Hux to sleep with his touches, broad hands soothing him until the tremors stopped. Ren followed Hux into unconsciousness, taking him to a beautiful, lone planet nestled among the stars, just for them, ready to put Hux back together again.


	4. Peace

“Ren.”

“Ren, wake up.”

“It’s just a nightmare.”

“Wake up, damn it!”

Ren suddenly bolted up, pinning Hux to the bed by his throat, eyes wild and unseeing.

Hux, used to outbursts such as these by now, gripped Ren’s wrist but didn’t try to pull him away.

“Let go of me, Ren,” he choked out.

It was hard to breath, but at least he was still able to.

He lifted his free hand to brush his fingertips over Ren’s cheek.

“Let go.”

He spoke softly, as if trying to calm down a scared animal.

Ren’s eyes widened as he finally came back to himself, and his grip loosed.

“Fuck,” he said softly, voice cracking.

He buried his face against Hux’s neck, wrapping his arms around him as he held him close.

Hux held the shaking man in his arms, stroking his hair slowly. He normally wouldn't put up with Ren’s emotional behavior, but he could tell the nightmares were particularly bad tonight. It wasn’t often that Ren managed to wake him up once he’d finally fallen asleep.

“Shh, It’s alright, Ren. Calm down.”

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Hux.”

“I know. But you didn’t hurt me.”

Not this time, at least. He’d once ended up with a broken collar bone when he’d tried to wake Ren that the knight had to set. He had treated Hux as if he were made of glass for a month. When Hux finally had enough, he made Ren spar with him. After a few rounds of showing Ren he was tougher than he looked, everything went back to normal.

“What was it this time?” he asked softly, pushing Ren away a little bit to look up at him.

“You. I-I was leaving the Order, leaving Snoke. You tried to stop me, and I killed you.”

A few tears spilled down Ren’s cheeks, and Hux frowned, knowing there was more that Ren wasn't telling him. He didn't push him, instead lifting his hand to brush them away.

“It felt so real. I don’t want to lose you, Hux, not like that.”

“I know. You won’t, Ren,” he crooned, kissing away the tears as he sat up.

Ren sighed, rubbing at his face, before looking down at Hux wearily.

“I’m sorry for waking you up.”

He knew Hux didn’t get much sleep as it is, he hated waking him up when he finally fell asleep.

Hux just tsked at him, shaking his head a bit.

“Don’t start with that. It’s fine. Making sure you’re alright is more important to me.”

If nothing else, he could just drink some caf in the morning, instead of tea, to perk him up. He was used to only 2-3 hours anyway, so losing a little bit of sleep to make sure Ren would be okay wasn’t that big of a deal.

Ren sighed again, resting his head on Hux’s shoulders. “I wish I could make them stop,” he murmured.

“Me too, Ren. Me too.”

He pressed his lips to Ren’s neck, feeling his pulse beating heavy and fast. He continued to stroke Ren’s hair and rub his back soothingly, trying to help the man calm down.

“How do you do it, Hux?”

“Do what?”

“You have so much control. Even over your dreams.”

He just wanted the nightmares to go away. Hux seemed to know how to do it; he never had nightmares. He never even dreamed.

“Just try not to think about anything. Clear your mind.”

“No, that doesn’t work.”

Ren tried clearing his mind, tried meditating, tried thinking of training, anything that would keep him away from the nightmares.

“Then you need to fixate on something. Think only of that one thing before you go to sleep.” He brushed Ren’s hair back again, before softly rubbing at his scalp.

“What brings you peace?”

Ren was silent for a long time before speaking, thinking about what few things truly brought him peace. Then,

“You.”

Hux rose an eyebrow skeptically, but didn’t say anything. He could hardly think he brought Ren peace, since most of their time outside of this bedroom was spent fighting, but he supposed he knew what Ren meant. When Hux thought of Ren, or fought with him, he couldn’t think of anything else. He thoughts focused on Ren, leaving no room for past demons; it must be the same for Ren as well.

“Alright. Then just think of me. It shouldn’t be too hard, since I’m right here.”

Ren nodded, laying back down. He pulled Hux close, closing his eyes as he tried to do what Hux said, thinking only of him. His thoughts kept drifting back to the nightmare, and fears that fueled other nightmares, and he groaned in frustration.

“It’s not helping.”

Hux simply tsked, stroking Ren’s cheek.

“Patience. Now, where is a place you would rather be than here?”

Immediately, Ren thought of Naboo. He’d only been there once, when he was very young. He’d been begging his parents to take him, and they’d finally relented. It was one of his best memories, back before Snoke had gotten to him.

He didn’t like to think of that time; it hurt too much. It reminded him of what he’d lost, of what he’d given up, for the sake of power.

So, he changed the memory a bit. Instead of being a small child running through the fields with Chewie, while Han and Leia watched with smiles, he was an adult. Laying in the grass in a field much like the one his grandparents had once visited.

Reaching out he took Hux’s hand and laced their fingers, showing him the vision through the Force. He looked over and Hux was lying beside him in the field, copper hair shining in the sunlight and eyes closed, smiling softly.

Hux had grown up on Arkanis, a planet that rarely stopped raining, and the sun was rarely seen. Even though it was simply an image conjured by Ren’s imagination, it felt so real, so warm.

Ren smiled over at him, before looking up at the sky with a soft sigh. He didn’t know when it stopped being a vision and started being a dream, but when he woke up, he felt more rested than he ever had.

Hux was still sleeping, looking peaceful as he laid tucked into Ren’s chest, soft hair splayed out around him like a halo. Ren leaned down to kiss his the top of his head, before whispering,

“Thank you.”


	5. Better Left Unsaid

“Hux,” he murmured, tracing his fingertips along the man’s bare shoulder, before placing a kiss on it. He smiled softly against Hux’s pale, porcelain skin, brushing his hand down his arm, before resting it on his thigh. Hux sighed softly, not displeased at the light touch, as he leaned back into Ren’s chest. “What is it?”

Ren just smiled more, using his free hand to brush Hux’s hair, for once left to be messy, back, delighting in the feel of it running through his fingers. “I love it when you’re like this.” When he allowed himself to fall away from the perfect, not-a-hair-out-of-place appearance. Hux simply hummed in response, tilting his head back just enough to brush his lips over Ren’s jaw. It wasn’t quite a kiss, his lips feather-light against Ren’s skin.

Lowering his hand from Hux’s hair, be placed it on his hip, kneading Hux’s hips lightly. Hux sighed again, closing his eyes as he sank back more into Ren. “And I love when you’re like this.” Sometimes, he needed to feel Ren just touch him. Not fuck, not fight, not use the Force, just touch. Feather light, and asking nothing in return. Expecting nothing.

Ren slowly fell back onto the bed, taking Hux with him, before slowly sliding up the man’s tank top and pulling it over his head. He placed gentle kisses along Hux’s shoulder, fingertips brushing up and down one arm idly, before taking his hand. He lifted Hux’s hand to press a kiss to his wrist, feeling his steady pulse against his lips.

He smiled softly, tracing his fingertip down the bridge of Ren’s nose. Yes, he liked how they were. Hard, fast, rough, burning. But he treasured times like these when they could be soft, slow, gentle. Moments like these kept him warm, rather than burning him with their passion.

He knew Ren felt the same. He could feel it in the way the knight leaned into his every touch. They were both starved for a kind touch, having both been denied such luxury growing up. Ren, because Snoke had him believing it made him weak, and Hux because he couldn’t stand for anyone to touch him. Yet here in the arms of this dangerous, deadly monster, he couldn’t have felt more relaxed, more at ease.

They were both monsters, both vicious killers in their own ways, but when they were like this, all of that fell away. They were just Hux and Ren. No titles, no expectations. No missions or wars. No demons. Just two lonely men desperate to not be alone anymore.

Ren carefully moved out from under Hux, propping himself on his side as he looked down at him. He brushed a stray strand of hair away from Hux’s face, and the man looked up at him. Not curious, not wary, just looking. Waiting.

Ren smoothed his hand down Hux’s side, caressing him gently as he leaned down to tilt Hux’s head back, before pressing his lips to the column of his throat. Hux closed his eyes, one hand coming up to Rest on Ren’s shoulder, the other running through his hair.

Ren closed his own eyes, humming appreciatively as his hair was touched, leaning into Hux’s hand. The sound made his lips vibrate against Hux’s throat, and Hux smiled softly. He rubbed the back of Ren’s neck, soothing the tenseness with graceful fingers, and then ran those fingers through his hair again.

Ren’s hand moved lower, down the side of Hux’s thigh. Both men were left in nothing but silky, loose pants, and Ren’s hand slid over the material easily. He lifted Hux’s leg a bit, prompting him to prop it up. He did, and Ren continued with his light touch that had Hux relaxing more and more into the bed.

Ren brushed his lips down Hux’s neck, then down his sternum, pressing kisses to his skin, before kissing his way up to Hux’s ear. He whispered something, some sentimentality, which made Hux smile as he murmured his reply in Ren’s ear. Ren smiled back, kissing the crook behind Hux’s ear.  He pushed Hux’s legs apart, settling himself between them, and Hux looked up at him lazily, eyes only partially open. Just enough to see what Ren was doing.

Ren leaned down and kissed Hux’s knee, before lowering his leg and resting his hands on his thighs. He kneaded gently at the soft, supple flesh; Hux wasn’t made of corded muscle like he was, hours of relentless training having hardened and toned his physique. Ren had once thought Hux weak for that reason; he didn’t anymore. He found it endearing almost. Often times it only made him hotter to know that someone with such a slight frame could still be so deadly. Hux was a constant reminder that physical strength alone wasn’t everything.

Ren was burning with a need to tell Hux something. He didn’t know what, just something. Not that he loved the man, surely. Neither of them knew the meaning of that word. Neither of them could truly appreciate what it was to be loved. Not even that he cared deeply for him. Maybe that he burned for him. Maybe that Hux kept the embers of something inside him alive. Something in a place reserved solely for Hux. Not his heart, of course. He would never keep something such as Hux there. But Hux did have his own corner of Ren that nothing, not even Snoke, could touch.

And Hux felt the same, only he knew how to express what he felt, He could sing poetry about just what Ren did to him, speaking eloquently in ways Ren never could. But he didn’t. Instead, he pulled Ren to him for a gentle kiss, just lips brushing against lips, because what they had, what moments like these invoked, was better left unsaid. Because saying it would make it real, and making it real would mean it could be taken away, destroyed.

No, what they wad was far better left unsaid. They spoke through their touch. Through soft caresses and gentle kisses. Through slowly exploring each other’s body until they knew it better than their own.

Ren lowered himself back to Hux’s side, pulling the man into his chest, foreheads and noses pressed together, eyes closed.

No, what they had was better left unsaid, because no words, no matter how poetically sung or eloquently spoken, could truly describe what they had.


End file.
